Thursday, February 2, 2012

Relative - Father

This one is tough.  Not so straight forward.  I have always been a daddy's girl, but we've had our ups and downs.

There was a 15 year period during which we neither saw each other nor spoke.  When I got the news that my Uncle Russ died, my dad's older brother, I called him.  Its been quite a road back, but I think we are both committed to treating each other better than we had in the past.

You know, I am reminded of another death that brought back the most important person in the world to me.  But that story is for another day - probably this month, if the writing prompts cover husband.

The teenage years were tumultuous for me.  I don't think my dad understood.  He had his own "stuff" to deal with.  His Big Blue Career, his girlfriends.  He put me on auto-pilot, which, I felt was working rather well. 

I wasn't a complicated person, until that day on the airplane.  The lady next to me asked if I was headed into Manhattan and could we share a cab?  I told her my dad was picking me up and that we could drive her too.

How as I supposed to know he'd marry her 6 months later?!?!?

And how as I supposed to know how complicated step-hood would be?!??!

And how completely 2nd I would be from that moment on...

It culminated with my hasty exit from home 2 weeks after my 18th birthday and by the time I was 20 or so, our relationship was over.  We were disappointed and hurt.

Then Uncle Russ died.  I called.  Dad sounded happy to hear from me.  We arranged to meet for dinner.  We were working at the same large tech company and didn't even know it. 

We've stumbled a few times since, but its going all right.  We are going to the Grand Canyon together at the end of March, with my kids and maybe my husband (if he can complete his current consuming project). 

I don't feel like I did yesterday, when I wrote about my mom.  I could go there.  But I feel like I am not going here.  I am not sure why.  Is it more difficult?  Or is there really nowhere to go with this one?


In other news, I bookmark this...  which I found through Judy who was kind enough to drop by this morning.  I checked her out.  I like her.  And I like this that she participated in last month.

This writing thing, its here for me.  Its a physical feeling - an altered state when I really get going.  I like that.  I want to spend more time there.

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